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The Reader’s 12 Days of Christmas

In which I have another shot at ruining 12 days of Christmas, as if I haven’t already done that enough …

As has become my erratic and not particularly reliable tradition, I have decided to ruin yet another Christmas song for you.

Well, again. I’ve decided to ruin it for you again, as I already took one shot at it with The Writer’s 12 Days of Christmas a few years ago. And that’s quite besides the terrible things I did with it in A Toot Hansell Christmas Cracker.

No, I have nothing against the original. Why do you ask …?

Anyhow. It is now only a few days to Christmas, which I have yet to get my head around. 2022 has been a mixed bag of a year, and the beginning of it seems like a really, really long time ago, but at the same time I’m not at all ready for it to end yet.

Unlike this song, which I imagine you will be ready to see end rather quickly.

All of which is just to say – if you celebrate at this time of year, Happy Holidays. If you don’t, Happy December. And wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, look after yourselves, lovely people. May your books be many and delightful, may your snacks be tasty and not too crumby, and may your beverage be just as warm or as cool as is required.

Happy reading.

PS: Yes, I know there’s one too many syllables in the last line. But just read it as ‘miss-tree’ rather than ‘miss-ter-ee’. I never claimed I was good at this … πŸ˜‰

In case you want to remember what it should sound like …

The Reader’s 12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my book love gave to me,

A dragon in a mystery …

On the second day of Christmas, my book love gave to me,

Two stormy nights,

And a dragon in a mystery …

On the third day of Christmas, my book love gave to me,

Three bad boys,

Two stormy nights,

And a dragon in a mystery …

On the fourth day of Christmas, my book love gave to me,

Four secret maps,

Three bad boys,

Two stormy nights,

And a dragon in a mystery …

On the fifth day of Christmas, my book love gave to me,

Five pirate hordes,

Four secret maps,

Three bad boys,

Two stormy nights,

And a dragon in a mystery …

On the sixth day of Christmas, my book love gave to me,

Six cats a-scheming,

Five pirate hordes,

Four secret maps,

Three bad boys,

Two stormy nights,

And a dragon in a mystery …

On the seventh day of Christmas, my book love gave to me,

Seven loves a-pining,

Six cats a-scheming,

Five pirate hordes,

Four secret maps,

Three bad boys,

Two stormy nights,

And a dragon in a mystery …

On the eighth day of Christmas, my book love gave to me,

Eight wolves a-howling,

Seven loves a-pining,

Six cats a-scheming,

Five pirate hordes,

Four secret maps,

Three bad boys,

Two stormy nights,

And a dragon in a mystery …

On the ninth day of Christmas, my book love gave to me,

Nine goblins laughing,

Eight wolves a-howling,

Seven loves a-pining,

Six cats a-scheming,

Five pirate hordes,

Four secret maps,

Three bad boys,

Two stormy nights,

And a dragon in a mystery …

On the tenth day of Christmas, my book love gave to me,

Ten knights a-jousting,

Nine goblins laughing,

Eight wolves a-howling,

Seven loves a-pining,

Six cats a-scheming,

Five pirate hordes,

Four secret maps,

Three bad boys,

Two stormy nights,

And a dragon in a mystery …

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my book love gave to me,

Eleven monsters prancing,

Ten knights a-jousting,

Nine goblins laughing,

Eight wolves a-howling,

Seven loves a-pining,

Six cats a-scheming,

Five pirate hordes,

Four secret maps,

Three bad boys,

Two stormy nights,

And a dragon in a mystery …

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my book love gave to me,

Twelve witches dancing,

Eleven monsters prancing,

Ten knights a-jousting,

Nine goblins laughing,

Eight wolves a-howling,

Seven loves a-pining,

Six cats a-scheming,

Five pirate hordes,

Four secret maps,

Three bad boys,

Two stormy nights,

And a dragon in a mystery …


A little bit of Kiwi Christmas as a palate cleanser …

What has your book love given you this year, lovely people? Let me know in the comments below!

12 days of Christmas, bookworm, poems, reading, songs

  1. Madan Singh says:

    Happy Christmas dear πŸ’•

    1. Kim says:

      Thank you – and to you πŸ™‚

      1. Madan Singh says:

        Welcome it’s my pleasure because we live in one Earth so we are one family

  2. Carolyn says:

    That was lovely but for some reason an alternative last line came into my head – perhaps as well as And a dragon in a mystery …. It was “And Gilbert stuck up the Christmas tree”

    1. Great alternative line, but shouldn’t it be Walter, not Gilbert?

      1. Carolyn says:

        True but you can never tell what Gilbert is going to try and liberate next?

        1. Kim says:

          My trees always have a lot of animals in them. I can see him taking exception …

    2. Kim says:

      Ha, I love that!

  3. Kim, you actually asked us to tell you what our book love has given us this year… I have on my Kindle a collection I’ve titled “Christmas Mysteries”, many of which I re-read annually. My discovery this year is titled “A Mystery Before Christmas”. It’s slightly too-sweet, just like Christmas cookies and candy, woven together of a series of unlikely coincidences, and, best of all, set in Italy, home to my late father’s family, so rife with Christmas customs and cookery traditions that I knew from my three great-aunts and grandmother. It was a delightful discovery that will be a permanent addition to my Kindle collection and an annual re-read for the holiday season.

    May you find this first Christmas without your Dad filled with nothing but lovely memories.

    1. Kim says:

      That sounds like a lovely read that sparks a lot of memories – how wonderful! Just the sort of thing we need for long winter nights. A little excess sweetness is certainly called for.

      I hope this Christmas is a little easier than last ❀️

  4. MARIE CORDALIS says:

    I love this version πŸ™‚. I like to add up all the things I’d wind up with in the end and I think I might (finally) have all the cats and dragons I’ve ever wanted πŸ˜‰. Wishing you and everyone a happy, wonderful, blessed holiday!πŸŽ„πŸŽ„πŸŽ„ (Excuse me now while I hide in the bathroom sucking my thumb for a while 😏and wait for a new hopefully better new year.)

    1. Kim says:

      I’m so glad you liked it! And honestly, given the last couple of years, hiding in the bathroom for a while sounds like a plan. Make sure you have some comfy cushions, a fluffy blanket, and a decent snack supply … πŸ˜‰

  5. Joan says:

    For a change this year, I gave myself several cookbooks most on Kindle. (No bookshelf space needed for those!) After 50 years of cooking, I needed the inspiration. Found lots of great new dishes. Biggest obsession? Charcuterie boards!

    1. Kim says:

      Ooh, I love cookbooks! For years I didn’t have any – I worked as a cook aboard charter yachts in the Caribbean when I was younger, and it put me off cooking for a while. Then I had a partner who was a chef, so just spent most of my time being intimidated by his VERY complicated books. But over the last few years I’ve got back into cookbooks – I find them hard to navigate in kindle, or to browse, but it’s really handy to pick them up on sale and decide if it’s worth buying them in paper!

Comment away! (Points awarded for comments involving cats, tea, or baked goods)

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